The letters
by Lilah Aine
Summary: Teddy accidentally sends a letter that Victorie was never supposed to read. The mistake frees some inhibitions and makes way for new feelings and realizations. TL/VW post DH
1. Ch 1: The mistake

AN: Ok so, this is based of the age old sending/saying something you didn't mean, or you thought the other would never read/hear… so if you recognize the plot; I'm not stealing it.. It's just a coincidence

Disclaimer: I only own the first season of psych (I just got it in today!!)… enjoy:

The Letter

Victorie slumped down in her seat and stared out the train window. This was her last year at Hogwarts, yet all she could think about was a certain boy: Teddy Lupin. Her, friend. No boyfriend. Well in a way….

She loved him, and he said that he loved her as well; but their romance had only begun at the start of the summer. She was so relived when he admitted his feelings for her; she had felt more than brotherly affection towards him for the last few years.

Last year, his seventh year at Hogwarts, was the hardest on her pent up feelings for him. She was convinced that he did not feel the same way; how could he with the smart and impressive people that he normally hung around with and dated.

So she tried her best to forget him; she dated other guys that never seamed to be even half as interesting as Teddy, and who never wanted much more than to be seen with her, or to head off to abandoned closets with her. Yet every time she ran in to him with his most recent girlfriend her heart would shatter a bit more.

At the end of the year party, held by her grandparents a the Burrow, Teddy was the guest of honor, being the first to graduate from Hogwarts since Aunt Ginny. She couldn't help but think about how close she and Teddy had been when they were younger and at the start of their Hogwarts years. They were the closest of friends but they had drifted apart, and Victorie realized that they drifted apart as her feelings for him had became less friendly and more romantic.

She decided to get over her emotions and talk to Teddy, she wanted to know how his last year had been, what he thought about becoming an Auror. Even if he didn't feel the same way as her she wanted to get closer to him; to go back to being the close friends they were before.

She helped him pack his things up and find an Apartment off Diagon Alley. She helped him shop for used furniture and discreetly as she could, she swiped his notes from his last year to help her on her NEWTS.

She felt that everything was going well expect for one thing; the tension between them. When ever she joined Teddy when alone she felt as if the air was thicker, as if it was harder to breath; she felt as if the temperature went up and she was very aware of every movement that either of them made. This would last until one of them would try and crack a joke, or bring someone else in to the room with them. Victorie was sure this was all in her head; maybe hanging out with Teddy all the time was not helping her 'little' crush on him.

It was on her last day of helping Teddy move in to his apartment that she treasured so much, she was never as thankful for her absent-mindedness as she was at that moment. She was in the kitchen and turned to walk in to the hallway with out looking where she was going or even registering the sound of footsteps approaching her. She ran in to Teddy with such force that she bounced of his well formed chest and was falling for a split second before Teddy reached out to steady her.

It was in that moment that Victorie felt she knew what perfection was. Her back was against the kitchen door frame, Teddy's large hands where holing her elbows and her own hands where gripping his shoulders. Victorie was too afraid to move, she didn't want him to let go and joke about her clumsiness while she willed her heart to stay in her own chest. She slowly raised her eyes to look at Teddy, his grip on her elbows had yet to be released.

His eyes were dark, being a metamorphmagus his eyes often changed colors; but normally between blue, green or sum unnatural eye color such as teal or fuchsia. But she had never seen his eyes so dark, they were black and they were staring right in to her own eyes. She had no idea what was going threw his mind, but she hoped to God it went along with what she felt for him. She closed her eyes trying to clear her head of this fog when she heard him say her name, it was the quietest of whispers, but the way in witch he said it caused shivers to trail up and down her spine. Her eyes fluttered open just in time to see Teddy lean forward. When his lips brushed against hers she felt herself go numb, she eagerly kissed him backing wanting to say, with out words, all that she felt and all that she hoped he felt as well.

Teddy pulled away and began apologizing, "I am so sorry Vi"

Victorie felt the loss of his hands, she looked up at him; he looked distraught.

"What are you sorry for?" Victorie asked him, hoping that he would not say it was all a mistake. That maybe the kiss was a delayed reaction to the shock of her running in to him?

"I never should have done that" Teddy said taking a step back from her and running a hand threw his hear.

"I'm sorry" Victorie said looking down at the floor. She just wished that he felt the same way and in that moment she convinced her self that he did.

"It's my fault, I am so sorry that I did that. I just--" Teddy avoided her eyes when she looked up at his last statement. He had given her hope; that maybe he did feel something. That one thought gave her courage.

"Teddy, I'm not sorry you did that. I have been wishing that you would kiss me for so long now" She took another step towards him trapping him between the hallway wall and herself. She didn't even have a moment to worry over her confession before his hands were on her face pulling her in to another kiss.

"Vicky-- Vicky are you in there?" One of Victorie's friends, Audrey, asked her pulling her from her memory and in to the present.

"We're gonna be at school in just a few minutes, are you ready for our last year?" Audrey asked.

--

Teddy was still at the train station, the great red train had disappeared down the track at least ten minutes ago but Teddy was left in his thoughts. He couldn't believe that the past two years his feelings for Victorie were returned, and that he had pined away thinking he was alone all in vain.

Teddy checked his watch and ran his hand threw his magenta hair. He needed to hurry off to work, it was his second day as an Auror. It was exciting, but he had second thoughts about whether or not this was what he wanted to do for the rest of his life.

That night after yet another day of lectures from his Uncle Ron and Godfather Harry. He flopped down in his large living room chair and tried to read the information that he was given to study. But the only thing that would come to his mind was last night, when he and Victorie said goodbye before she had to leave for school.

Since he and Victorie had kept their relationship a secret they had no problem being alone together. Teddy groaned as he thought of James catching him with Victorie, there was no way James had kept his mouth shut and that was the end of his ability to see Victorie alone.

Last night after dinner Teddy picked up Victorie and they went back to his apartment to 'talk about her up coming NEWTS". They did do that for a few minutes but Victorie slowly moved from her side of the couch to sitting right beside him. He was getting distracted by her low cut top, her breathing and the way her fingers were slightly touching his arm.

She was beginning to give him a problem, he shifted ever so slightly to try and make his problem less noticeable, but his plan back fired on him. Victorie swiftly swung one leg over Teddy's lap, straddling him. He groaned when she ground her hips in to him, making his small problem a much larger one. Teddy firmly grabbed her hips trying to stop her, but he got distracted and one hand moved to her back as the other slowly moved up her sides to gently cup her breast.

Victorie moaned into her kiss as her tongue darted out of her mouth with even more fervor. He took her moan as permission and allowed his hand to drifted to the bottom of her top and slip under it and continue back up; skin against skin up to her lacy bra. "Please" Victorie moaned thrusting her hips forward to create delicious friction between the two of them.

Teddy's long fingers made quick work of her bra clasp, he pulled her top over her head and slid her bra straps down her arms. His few quick bursts of action used on taking off her top and bra were balanced by his motionless stare at his now topless, heavily panting girlfriend who was currently straddling his straining erection.

Victorie began to blush under his intense gaze, her hands untangled themselves from his hair, but before she could even lift her hands from his head to cover her self she was interrupted by Teddy.

"Perfection" he murmured as one of his hands reaching up to stroke her face as the other ran up and down her side. She whimpered grabbing his face and leaning in for a passionate kiss. His mind was going numb, he couldn't get enough of her. But as numb as his mind was it became crystal clear the moment he felt her hands brush against the opening to his jeans.

He quickly grabbed her hand and took a deep breath of air, trying to get the much needed oxygen to his brain. "Vi, I think this would be a good place to stop" He said looking up in to her sky blue eyes.

"But I thought--" He stopped her, tucking a strained of her very mused up hair behind her ear.

"Vi I would love to continue this, really I would. But I think when we have more time…" He said tracing the line of her face softly with the pads of his fingers. She smiled up at him, "your right I really should get home" she said covering his mouth with her own.

He looked around his living room realizing that reminiscing about last night had created an all to familiar problem, he was so sexually frustrated. He was on his way to the bathroom to realize his current situation when a note on the floor caught his eye.

"My Teddy, Good morning!! I hope you had a great night! I will miss you so much, Christmas break seams way to far away. I hope you think about me, and don't forget to write. Much love Vi"

He smiled, it was just like her to leave little reminders around the apartment for him to find. He went over to his desk and grabbed a piece of parchment.

"_Vi, I cant even say how much I miss you, all I can think about is last night. How soft your skin was, how good you tasted. Hearing you moan like that drove me crazy, all I could think about was you moaning my name as I moved in and out of--_" He stopped. There was no way he was going to be able to write to her in this situation. He couldn't keep his mind on 'nice' things.

"_Vi, I miss you already. I just found your note, it figures that I would find it too late right? I love the thought that I might find something else of yours around the house. I realized that when you got dressed last night you forgot your bra, but even after searching the living room I could find it. I wonder where it is that you've hidden it. I cant wait to find it, knowing that it was on you, that my hands caressed your body, the weight of your breast in my hand was perfect-_-" He groaned. There was no writing clean tonight; he was just going to write it all down and burn it.

"_Vi, I cant stop thinking about you. While Uncle Ron and Harry went on and on about safety precautions today all I could think about was your perfect body. The way you looked straddling my lap, how I wish I didn't stop you from taking off my pants. The way you moaned was perfection, I can just imagine you whispering my name from underneath me. It is all I can think about. _

_Your image has filled my head for years. A year ago it was just your face that I imagined in the dorm shower, your name I called out as I came against the wall. But now, now I have so much more to image. I know the way to feel in my hands. Where to touch to make you moan or sigh. I know how sweet you smell how you taste. Even knowing all that I can stop myself from imagining even more, I want to know what you will look like spread across my bed naked in the moonlight, how your body will feel beneath me. How it will feel to finally bury my length in to your sweetness. To feel your hot wetness surround me, to be able to own you in a way I hope that you will only allow me to do from this day on. I cant stop dreaming of you. I blame you for all of the work I have yet to do. _

_It is bad when I am with others, but even worse when I am alone in my apartment. I can see you in everything. Where you reed a book one sunny afternoon, where you spilled tea in my bedroom, where he were last night. But the worst is where you could be, I dream of you showing in my bathroom, with and with out me. I dream of you cooking in the kitchen. Of you sleeping in my bed…. I must stop now, even though you will never read this I cant even bring myself to write what I would do. I love you, more than I can even understand. your Teddy_."

He quickly folded the note and tossed it over his shoulder. He headed towards the shower to take care of his problem. When he returned to his room he quickly wrote a note to Victorie telling her that he missed her, loved her and he reminded her to study. He took his new owl out of it's cage, it was a graduation present from Harry, he tried tying the letter to the owl's leg but it would not stand still. After scattering everything from his desk to the floor and pecking him no less than four times he finally got the letter on.

He began to clean up when he picked up the folded note he wrote about Victorie. He opened it to read it just one more time before he burned it.

"My Vi, I miss you! I cant wait till I get to see you again. But I--" He stopped reading. This was the clean letter he wrote after his shower…

"Bloody Hell-- Damn it!" He ran to the window, but there was no way to stop his owl. He quickly grabbed another piece of parchment,

"Please Vi, say that you didn't read that other letter, throw it away. I sent it by mistake. I don't know what to say. Please, for me, forget that letter; just burn it; please. I love you, Ted" He quickly apperated to his Godfathers.

"Harry, Harry" He called out the moment he entered the house.

"What Teddy?" Harry asked trying to shush him as he hurried from his bedroom.

"I need to borrow your owl, I have an urgent letter to send" Teddy said.

"Sure-sure" Harry wondered what could be so urgent that Teddy showed up at his house to post a letter at almost 3 in the morning.

--

Review please!!


	2. Ch 2: The turn of events

Victorie was trying her best not to yawn in front of everyone that morning at breakfast. She had been so pre occupied with thoughts of exams, her boyfriend, what to do after graduation, her boyfriend, and the schedule not to mention her boyfriend; that she barely had two hours of sleep that night before she was woken up by her roommates who wanted to look their best on the first day; so they got up at least an hour early.

She was looking over her classes again when the morning owls swooped in with letter and packages of forgotten things for the students; mostly the first years. She felt a peck on her hand an immediately lit up in a bright smile as she noticed the owl pecking her was Teddy's new owl. He got her note, she was so excited to see what he had to say.

The owl was quickly dismissed as she opened up the letter in excitement but after reading the first paragraph she couldn't keep the blush from invading her cheeks. She lowered the letter looking around to see if anyone else had read what Teddy had written her.

James noticed his cousin's blush and was worried.

"What's wrong Vick?" He asked reaching over his brother Al to grab the last sausage.

"Nothing, I'm just excited about classes" She tried to lie folding up her letter and slipping it in side her robes.

"Are you sure Aunt Hermione's not your mom?" Albus joked elbowing his brother. All she could do was smile at her cousins as she excused her self from the table.

She checked the first closet she pasted; it was unlocked and unoccupied. She lit the room with light from her wand and pulled out Teddy's letter to continue reading.

She was out of breath by the time she finished reading the letter. She had no idea that Teddy would even write something like this let alone send it to her. She re-read the letter trying her best to memorize it, wanting to be able to think of his fantasies threw out her long day. She cast a charm of the letter to appear to be a shopping list until she said a 'pass-word' of sorts to keep it's contents secret.

As she exited the closet she checked her appearance in a mirror from her bag; she was still blushing and could not stop her self from smiling so broadly. But if anyone asked she was just going to chalk it up to first-day-of-last-year jitters.

"I'm glad I found you, you got another letter" Audrey said catching up with her friend.

Victorie took the letter and read it quickly trying to keep it from her friends prying eyes in case it's contents were not of a sharable nature. After reading the second letter she was even more excited. The first letter was his privet thoughts, things he didn't think she would ever find out. She wondered how often he wrote them down, how often he thought of her in that way.

By the time she got back to her room after the long school day she was very anxious to answer Teddy, she had been think of him all day and had come up with some delightful secrets to confess and thoughts to share with him.

--

The moment Teddy got back to his apartment after work he check to see if any mail had been delivered to him. He knew that she must had gotten both letters by now, and it didn't take that long for her response to get here. The only thing he could think of that would explain the lack of response was the one thing he was hoping had not happened. She must have been too angry or mortified to answer him. He could not believe that he had been so stupid, he should have burned the letter right away, he should have checked the letter he sent.

He was in the middle of cursing himself out yet again when a Hogwarts owl flew threw his window with a letter. He was flooded with both relief and anxiety when he recognized the handwriting to be Victorie's. He un folded the letter as quickly as her could.

"_Teddy, _

_I must say when I wrote you that note I had no idea what kind of letter you would write to me, if I had know this before I would have asked you to write much sooner. I have had you in my dreams for years, and I must admit that my dreams were very far from descent. Just last night I imagined your hands, the very same ones that caressed me so softly, were mine. _

_While lying in my bed I ran my hands over my face, just as you did in your apartment, then lower to my chest, remembering how your large hand felt holding my bare breast. When my hands reached the bottom of my top I slipped them under the waist band of my sleep pants. I slowly traced the line of my underwear, I felt the damp patch that was the result of think of you. The hardest part of imagining my fingers are yours is when I push my underwear aside and rub my slit, teasing my clit and panting your name. How I wish I was no longer pretending and that it was you. _

_It has been your name I whispered, moaned, called out as I came for quite sometime now. (it has even gotten me in to trouble with past boyfriends). I cant think about you in class, when ever I do I cross my legs and rub them together trying to create the friction that I know will satisfy the burning I feel. Even thought I say I try not to think of you, it never works. So often the class is dismissed before I have a chance to catch myself day dreaming about you. _

_I can not wait until I see you again, I don't care what James has told my parents; I need to be with you again; alone. This time I will not let you talk me in to stopping. We both will get what we want I promise you; me underneath you calling out your name, oh I don't think I can even express how glad I am that I know what your bedroom looks like; for until our rendezvous at Christmas that room will be the stage of my nightly, if not daily dreams). With much love, your Vi._

_Ps. Did this release any frustrations for you, because I feel even more in desperate need of your skillful hands at this moment then when I started. "_

Teddy let Victorie's letter flutter to the ground after he read it threw for the ninth time. He could not believe that she had written him back, and that she was not upset. In fact he could not believe that his Vi had written that letter. He was, for the first time since discovering he sent the wrong letter, glad for his letter mix up. He had no idea that his dirty fantasies and desired were returned.

He quickly grabbed Vi's letter and went to his room, He had to write he back now; while these thoughts were fresh in his mind.

--

AN: Ok so I think I will end this here… I hope you liked it. Review please!!


	3. Ch 3: The present

AN: So I have decided to go on with the story. I hope you enjoy. Lilah Aine

P.S. exams are coming up so… I might not be posting as frequently

Victorie woke up the morning after she sent the letter to Teddy feeling as if she was invincible; she was incredible; she was a god, and just a little naughty too. The whole day she tried to act as if nothing was different, but she couldn't wipe that ridiculous smile off her face.

She was hoping that she would get a letter from Teddy that morning, but nothing came; not even the next day. When she work up three days after she sent the letter there was no bounce in her step, there was no ridiculous smile; she had lost her esprit d'amusement. All she could think about was Teddy's lack of response.

Was her bold move too bold. She knew that he thought of her in that way; the letter said it all. But what did his silence mean. She was so caught up in her thoughts that when a post owl pecked at her, she just took the box from the post owl and set it down next to her, she didn't care what her mother had sent her, she was far to worried about her relationship status.

Walking out of the dinning hall she was in a complete daze, she asked a house elf to take her box to her room, and headed towards class all while thinking of how to word the next letter to teddy; one that basically said 'ignore what ever it was I did wrong, forgive me. I love you'-- but she didn't want to sound that needy.

The box was sitting on her pillow and would have gone unnoticed if she had not thrown herself on to her bed the minute she got back to her room. She pulled the string off the box and pulled out it's contents. She realized at once that this package was not from her mother. There was no way her mother would even sent her this. She was staring at her hand, well more precisely she was staring at the red lacy lingerie that was clutched in her hand.

She quickly grabbed the letter, it was written in Teddy's hand. She was relived, relived and excited. He had stepped it up, not only had he sent a letter, but a present as well!

"_Vi, I don't think I will ever be able to express how worried I was when I realized that I had sent the wrong letter. I didn't get any sleep, and spent the whole day at work worrying. But when I got back home and read your letter…. Shocked does not even begin to cover it. I had no idea that…well that you thought like that at all much less than thought it about me. I am loving this letter idea. Hearing you describe touching yourself imagining that your hands were mine, made me go numb. I have imagined touching you so many times, yet hearing (reading) you say it made it seam so much dirtier. _

_Do you remember last year when I dated Violet? I would moan 'Vi' when I came in front of her, yet she thought it was a nick name for herself. I never meant to do it, to substitute someone else for you. But I never thought we would be together, and I liked her, never loved her as I do you, but I liked her. Once we were in the broom closet of the forth floor, she was giving me a hand job, but all I could think about was how just a few minutes before I had run in to you in the hall way. I imagined her hands were yours, I closed my eyes and saw your face, and once again when I came I was moaning 'Vi'._

_Thinking back on those moments I get so angry that I never told you how I felt, that I never got up the courage to put myself out there on the line like that. But I have another confession to make, besides having thought about you while with others, I want to have you in dangerous places. I have dreamt about it since I realized I first had feelings for you; I wanted to sneak off to McGonagall's office, something about the idea of having sex with you in the headmistress's office really makes me hot. I have always imagined you leaning over the desk; I would enter you from behind, some how having sex doggie style in the very same office where I got yelled at countless times seams like a perfect idea._

_I have yet another confession, every time we were at a family party I imagined stealing you away and having sex with everyone right outside. Can you imagine, at the end of the year party I just walk up to you saying I need some help with some thing, and I pull you inside. We could sneak up to the attic (and if you couldn't make it that far; the bathroom on the first floor). I cant imagine any scene hotter than me pushing you up against a wall, plunging in to you over and over again. As my mouth wanders down your perfect throat, making frequent visits to your mouth to swallow the moans that escape your lips._

_I think that this letter is long enough. Much love, your Teddy._

_PS. I agree with you, these letter and making me a bit more frustrated._

_PPS. I have included a present for you, I saw them while I was walking down Diagon Alley to meet your Uncle Percy for lunch. I wanted to see you in them so I got them right away, and sat threw lunch with your uncle knowing what was really in the bag at me feet…."_

Victorie grabbed the red lacy lingerie that Teddy sent her with a smirk on her face. Now that she would never be able to look at Headmistress McGonagall's desk the same way, she wanted to torture Teddy just a bit as well.

--

Please review, I would like to know if you enjoyed it.


	4. Ch 4: The honeysuckle flower

AN: I am getting almost as bad as them; I am thinking of future letter during my classes, mostly my philosophy class. I hope you enjoy.

--

Teddy was trying to shove another shirt in to his duffle bag when he received Victorie's letter. He ripped in to it as fast as he could; there was her letter, written in her careful script, as well as a blank piece of paper. He turn the paper over a few times, it was about the size of a photo, but it was blank. After a moment being wasted on wondering about the bank page he quickly grabbed her letter and sat in his armchair.

"_Teddy, first I have to tell you; the other piece of paper I sent to you is important, aka: don't throw it away. Ok, now on with my letter._

_I loved my present, it was very thoughtful of you. I am so glad that I didn't open it at the breakfast table, that would have been awkward. I'm wearing them right now. They say that confident people wear red, I have never been that confident in just my underwear. Once when I was visiting my cousins (the ones you don't know in France) I over heard one of them saying it was too bad that I didn't get more Veela blood because I wasn't very pretty. I know it was just a comment, and that it was made over a year ago, but my mom is so perfect all the time, and sometimes I feel like I'm just average. I don't even have the attention getting Weasley red hair. But knowing that you want to see me in just this… it's exciting._

_I know you said that you like dangerous places (I cant look at the headmistress' in the same way, now I can only think of her desk and you) but I am very partial to the outdoors. I have always wanted to have sex in the rain. I can imagine out by the lake that's behind the Burrow. It starts out as an innocent snogging session while the sky is just getting cloudy. The sky gets darker as my shirt comes off, your hands are roaming over my back as mine are lightly scratching down your chest. You lay me back on the ground, the grass tickling my back but my giggle never escapes my mouth; it's trapped by yours. You pull your own shirt off as I fumble with your belt. You lose your pants and I rid myself of my bra as the first rain drops land. _

_They are the heavy rain drops that fall so slowly you feel like you could watch them fall from the sky. But neither of us even notice the rain, your boxers are gone and you have peeled my jeans away, I didn't wear any panties in hopeful anticipation for this moment. You murmur sweet words in to my ear as you wipe the damp stands of hair from my face. I lift my legs and wrap them around your waist, my hands tangle them selves in your brown hair. Your sweet words have become kisses and they have moved from my ear to the hallow of my throat. One of your hands is wrapped in my hair pressing my head to the side of your neck where I am currently biting, the other hand is on my hip as you ready yourself at my entrance, with a powerful push you begin._

_By now the rain is falling much faster, but the only rhythm I can keep up with is ours. Your thrust are pushing me in to the dirt, and while I don't mind, you lift my up off the ground mumbling about the mud in between thrusts and flip us over; so now I'm on top. My wet hair has fallen around us creating a damp silver curtain. Both of your hands are at my hips lifting me in time with your thrusts. I feel myself reaching the edge, my hands are bracing myself on your chest as I come, shuttering against your frame. Once again your hands move to my face brushing my hair out of my eyes as I catch my breath. _

_Much love, your Vi._

_PS I almost forgot your present; the piece of paper I sent you. The password is my favorite flower. Now before your do anything with the paper I have to warn you, I didn't really know what I was doing and I was not about to ask for someone's help. (and I must say; it's supposed to rain tomorrow…. There is no way I am going to be paying attention to my lessons at all, and I blame you. Much love)"_

Teddy picked up the other piece of paper and whispered "honeysuckle". He was amazed; it was a photo she had put a spell on it to appear only when he said the password. The photo was taken on Victorie's bed, with the curtains closed. Victorie was wearing the red lingerie he sent her and was trying to get the camera to sit straight, she finally got it straight and gave out a triumphant laugh. She settled further down her bed, he could see all of her; her light blond hair was falling in it's usual waves down her back, the red lacy looked even better against her pale, yet freckled skin, as he imagined. She was blushing ever so slightly as she gave the camera a coy smile. Teddy kissed the picture and read her letter again before he headed back to his room to write Victorie.

--

I hope you liked it; it's not as long. But I will post the next chapter soon.

PLEASE leave a comment…any; I am just assuming from the few that I have gotten that this story is going over well.

"I'd commit sins with the Weasley twins" -- I love that rhyme!!


	5. Ch 5: The Goodbye of sorts

AN: Hi, sorry it's been so long. I just got back from Ireland and I didn't have a computer over there. This was going to be two chapters; but I make them one.

I don't own and all that jazz

--

Teddy sighed, this letter was hard to word. He smiled at that thought, he was eager to write his bedroom fantasies down; but telling Victorie that he had to go on a mission was the hard thing to word. He quickly scrawled out the end of his letter and attached it to his owl sending his news out the window.

Victorie was quickly scanning her potions notes while trying to guide a piece of toast to her mouth with out looking up from her notes. She was mid bite when Teddy's latest letter was plopped in to her lap. She slid the letter in to her bag to read after her potions test.

She let out a long sigh; that was the longest test ever! She found a secluded corner of the library and pulled out Teddy's letter.

"_Vi, I have some news. Uncle Ron and Harry have decided to send me on a mission. I leave tomorrow. I am excited; this is what I have always wanted to do. Growing up listening to stories about my father and mother's heroics always inspired me to protect. I have always looked forward to my first mission, but I wonder… were my father and mother just as nervous and frightened as I am now? _

_Here I am almost 19 and I'm afraid. I cant tell Harry; he is so proud of me. All of the Weasley's have been so supportive of me but I don't feel like I can talk to any of them about this. _

_You were always my closest friend growing up; but now were in this relationship and I don't want to destroy your image of me…. But I have to talk about this with you; you are all I have. _

_I know that the war is over, and with the ministry's new rule we have less to worry about. But all I can think of is the fact that I don't have a family, that I am the last of both my father's and mother's family line. If I die all I leave behind is my Gran. _

_I have to think about something happier. I found your bra. Your probably wondering what I'm talking about. Remember the day before you left for school and we were snogging on my couch? Well I knew you left your bra behind, and somehow it got to the bottom of my closet. When I was packing my things I didn't know what to take other than clothes and my tooth brush; so I hid your picture, letters and bra in my bag. I wanted something to make me smile. I love you Vi, and cant wait to see you soon. _

_Your Teddy._

_PS. I know that this was not our normal form of letter….. But in someway this letter was far harder to write."_

Victorie folded up his letter and tried her best to wipe the stunned look off her face. She knew that he would have to go on missions. You don't become an Auror to just sit around filling out paper work.

She hurried back to her room, growing up with so many male cousins had taught her at a young age to hid her tears and fear. But right now she could feel the tears threatening to break threw. She sat down on her bed and tried her best to not think of all the things that could go wrong.

Victorie woke up a bit confused. It was light outside; so either she had cried herself to sleep or she was waking up very late and all of yester day had been a bad dream. She looked around her bed and found Teddy's letter.

She walk over to her desk; she wanted to quick send him a letter in hopes that he would get it before he left.

--

Teddy was finishing his tea when a Hogwarts Owl swooped in to his kitchen. He gave the owl a bit of toast and grabbed the letter from Victorie.

"_Teddy. I am glad that you can tell me anything, and I want you to. I want to know everything about anything…. Well maybe not everything but I want to know the major stuff (you can leave out awkward talks with my Uncle Harry). _

_I am worried about you to, but that's my role right? The worried supportive girlfriend. I hope you get this before you leave. I wanted to tell you once again that I love you. That I truly do. I cant wait until I can see you again, it has felt like ages since I saw you at the train. I love you; more than I can say, with all my heart, and to depths unknown (I think that starts to cover it). Much love, your Vi"_

Teddy quickly unzipped his bag and added this letter to the other letter from Victorie that he was taking with him. She must have the same problem he thought, the inability to think that words could express how much she love him. Every time he wrote 'love' he felt like he needed to write it again because he felt so much more than just a four letter word for her.


	6. Ch 6: The second letter to not be sent

AN: Hi, sorry for the long wait. I hope that this chapter is better in the spelling department. I am trying to find/figure out the beta thing (?)….

Disclaimer: as always I don't own HP

--

Victorie read Teddy's last letter one more time. She could not believe that it had been three weeks since he send it to her. Three weeks since he went on the mission, she knew that he was doing well. Both Uncle Harry and Uncle Ron had sent messages home, but Teddy was just a newbie; he had no privileges yet.

Three weeks of feeling worried and not being able to really let anyone know how she was feeling. She couldn't talk to her cousins; they did not know about the relationship. Her friends didn't know Teddy. And her friends live in a world were they believed that there was no longer any danger, and would not understand her fear of what might happen to Teddy.

She loved him, she was sure of that. He loved her, she read it over and over in his letters. But it was as if she just realized; they had no real relationship. They had stolen kisses and a possible outing from her pesky cousin. She loved Teddy, and called him her boyfriend in her head. But that's all she had. This whole thing was in her head, their relationship was in shadows, their letters were secret. She wanted James to have out-ed them to her father, to her uncle, to anyone. Then someone else would know about their relationship; there would be proof.

She wanted to be able to tell people about them. She wanted to be able to say 'this is my love, my life, my boyfriend, my fiancé, my everything, my world, my husband, my--" She stopped herself; how the bloody hell did husband get in the list of what she wanted to be able to call Teddy. Boyfriend was a given; lover, was a title he was in her dreams already. Fiancé, husband, marriage was kinda her dream….. Victorie's heart seamed to have stopped. She wanted to talk to someone, but no one could understand where she was coming from.

She walked over to her desk, she would take a page out of Teddy's book and write him a letter; but not send it. That was where she would differ, she had the brain capacity to do what she meant (:D).

_"Teddy. 'My love'- you are my love. But next month when I am home for the holidays what will I call you. When we are at Christmas dinner will I be able to sit next to you, hold your hand and kiss you (with and without mistletoe)? I want to be able to title you, to be able to title us. I want to be out in the open. I don't know how we got to this level of secrecy. _

_I know that in the last few weeks of my summer break it was easier to just not mention that our "hanging out" activities had changed. I agreed with that, but next month….I don't want to have to hide. I want everything from you, and I am prepared to give you all I have. All of me, everything. I don't want to sound demanding (but after saying I want everything, I don't think that will happen). I just want to be as big a part of your life as you are in mine. _

_I have been thinking, since you've been gone, about life. I was, I still am, so worried about you. I know that we are not living in a time of war like our parents; but there are still those that are resistant to the new change, and you will be sent to deal with them. It worries and frightens me to no end. _

_I just want to know that you are safe, I am glad that you are doing what you feel you have been called to do. I am immensely proud of that fact, and I wouldn't change it for anything. But I just want to know, I want everyone to know that I am more than a naughty pen pal to you. _

_I want to be something more, I want to matter, I want you to come home to me. I want to be your home, I want to be your everything; just like you are mine. I want you, now, forever, no matter what._

_Love; forever, for always, deeply, unchangeable, irrevocably_

_Your Vi"_

_--_

_AN: Hi, so I am going to be fixing my past chapters. (just wanted you tell you in case you get e-mails about it!)_

_--LA_

_:D_


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